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Frederick didn't like cats. This
wouldn't have been a problem if cats also didn't like Frederick, but
they did and so when he would find one they would immediately rub up
against his leg as if he was the only person on the planet to ever
pay attention to them. It didn't matter if he tried to ignore them,
they would rub anyway and cover his dark clothing with a layer of cat
hair that seemed to never go away.

It was taken all into stride until the
day in January when the temperature got really cold and Frederick
slipped upon the ice. He felt himself going and was able to gently
lay his packages down before hitting the ice coated concrete. Despite
his best efforts he still went down hard, but initially felt that he
was unscathed. It was a cat that let him know otherwise.

“That was pretty funny.” He said.
He was a large cat and his fir was a gray tiger stripe. Frederick was
surprised that he was able to tell—no smell– that this was a male
cat with his testicles removed. “I didn't know humans can fall.”

“What?” Asked Frederick, still
confused.

“Humans seem to be so sure-footed.
Their balance is awesome.” The cat flicked it's tail. “Like some
kind of gymnast.”

Frederick thought about it for a
moment—it challenged him because he had always thought humans were
clumsy. “But you guys make these incredible jumps onto narrow
surfaces. They're incredible.”

“I once was taken into a metal box
which then appeared to accelerate. I would then put my nose next to
the edge and there was scent of many places at once, so rapid that it
seemed as if I was traveling through time itself. And I was because
when I left the box I was in a place much greater the before.”

“Greater?” Frederick asked. “You
mean it seemed like you passed over a great distance.”

“And water.” The cat flicked it's
tail again. “But I remembered that I was supposed to be there, but
had always wondered how I would spend the time getting there. I know
how I get home but don't understand how I started so far away.”

“What's your name?” Asked Frederick
who felt that he needed a different kind of reference.

“I could tell you Tom Tiger,” The
cat replied, “But it really wouldn't make any difference. For just
like my appearance here the labels attached are only a passing
description. Whatever name I give you will only help you identify me
in easy conversation. It's only your understanding that can apply
meaning.”

So Frederick scratched behind the cat's
ears and thought ahead as to what he would do when he met another
cat. He would think of each situation in which he would meet a new
cat and hear it's story—but knowing that if he conditioned himself
he would understand that each unique moment would, in itself,
represent a cliche. And in taking that simple social affront would be
actually converted into knowledge and he would totally understand why
some cats would, for example, defecate on the bed of their affiliated
humans because of a rapid change in the price of fossil fuels.

After a few months it got worse—cats
began to tell him such mundane aspects of the future like weather
reports or the occasional newspaper horoscope. Soon the cats would
tell him everything. It began to be too much when his girlfriend's
cats detailed her bathroom behavior when he wasn't around in exchange
for cleaning a litter-box.

His girlfriend had two cats but he only
would speak to Jake the dominant one. Early in Frederic’s
enlightenment Jake explained how he had once hitchhiked across the
country once in an effort to find some place in which no one else had
ever seen before.

It wasn't Jake that made a difference,
though. Frederick learned that he could understand the story of every
cat he met. He could patiently listen to an orange tabby explain how
they fought in the war in the desert and then have a tuxedo cat
explain how he used to tour with the Dead.

And so Frederick was able to take a
step back from the onslaught of truth spewed by random cats. He was
able to filter and with the flowing clarity he saw their message
reaching a crescendo that sounded important but was just more babble
in the soundtrack of life.